Real-world fitness
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010Being physically fit and strong for everyday life is a must have. In caveman days you had to be strong to hunt for your food and fight off saber-toothed tigers, and avoid stampeding buffalo. These days you’ve got to be fit to survive modern day idiots that are willing to kill you just to save 30% on a Xbox. Check out this video from a Target store on the morning of Black Friday. Particularly entertaining points to watch:
0:10 notice Refrigerator Perry emerging from the left side as he uses his hips to knock down at least 2 people, possibly including his wife. He appears to have recovered a fumble and is well on his way to making it all the way to the end zone when he gets called back for a penalty. He then returns to shout some encouraging words to his wife, and then check his watch to see how many seconds after 4am it is. He appears noticeably stressed by the possibility that his itinerary is no longer going as planned, and he may not be able to make it to Circuit City by 5am to re-in act this exact episode.
0:25 notice the guy emerging from the crowd holding a yellow umbrella, although he was nearly killed, he makes sure to fix his hair before making a b-line for the hardware section where the cordless drill he has been dreaming of for the past 6 months, is $29 off!
0:28 guy in the white hat on the right side risks going back into the crowd to retrieve one of his shoes. This guy clearly understands the importance of being quick and agile to score the best deals, so once he gets his shoe on, he is off and running.
0:29 notice the guy on the ground in the yellow rain jacket who has been letting out the blood curdling screams
0:40 guy wearing Buffalo Sabres pullover emerges from crowd by keeping his hands over his head to reduce his drag factor, a quick swim move between two ladies and then pay dirt! This guy is definitely a pro, he stays focused and never takes his eyes off the prize!
0:44 notice yellow rain jacket guy make it to his feet, take one look back at the crowd, then proceed on to finding his wife one of those super nice cake mixers which she’ll use one time, and never again. Clearly worth nearly being killed for.
0:50 The Acadamey Award winner for most dramatic actor emerges wearing a brown leather bomber jacket, fashionably high on his torso. After a quick look back to confirm the level of congestion at the door is still at a dangerously high level, thus very few competing shoppers will be coming through, Chris Farley unzips his jacket and rests his head on a half wall while he contemplates whether saving $45 on a rocking recliner is worth losing his life over. The noise from the crowd rises as he looks to see more patrons getting through. Contemplation over, you bet your ass this is worth $45!
0:58 notice Refrigerator Perry again, listen as he calls to his companion and asks, “you alright?”, “Is everything alright?” , and before there is even time for a response he turns and continues on his mission for the end zone
1:15 a jovial youth, clearly excited about celebrating the holidays with his family and the thought of purchasing his grandmother a new dining room set, shouts a yule-tide greeting as he sprints past the camera
1:19 in possibly the greatest act of holiday spirit, or even humanity, the lady with the hooded jacket throws an elbow with speed rivaling the best UFC athletes, hoping to land on any patron that may threaten her chances of purchasing the 6 motor massage cushion.
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Monday’s WOD:
A.) Back Squat
2-2-2-2-2
3 Sets Max Effort Pullups
B.) 400m Row
20 Pushups (release at bottom)
806m Run
15 Burpee Box Jumps
























